Script

This page shows you the script I have created for the final product to this project and the process I had went through.

First Draft:

This is the start of my script writing process. The dots are spaces that I need to fill.

FlashBack:

This part of the script is the back story of Tyler’s amnesia.

Tyler is walking home drunk on he sees a couple and he is saying negative things like they wont last etc. Then the guy tells Tyler to piss off, so that is what he does (he walks away) but the guy whispers you dumb tramp.

Tyler hears it and he come back to the guy says something and then spills alcohol on the guy’s girl. She complains to the guy and then the guy takes a swing at Tyler but is blocked, so Tyler punches him in the belly and then the face.

The guy falls to the ground and then Tyler keeps punching him saying you can’t hurt me etc because he is drunk and angry. After that, the girl panics, sees something heavily and then hits him over the head with it. Tyler falls to the floor, the couple run away and then there’s a closeup on his face and all you hear are sirens.

Click here for feedback

Second Draft:

This is a continuation of the first draft, I’m starting to get idea of the rest of the script, I just need to keep writing. I think that it is going really well and I like what I am coming up with, additionally, I think I am heading in the right direction so I want feedback.

FeedBack:

Is going great :). It is really good, just go over it again there’s some spelling mistakes but other than that it’s very good :D. – Maria 17

Maria’s feedback is positive as well as helpful. I think it is helpful because she has informed me about the spelling mistakes in this draft, this is good critical feedback.

I liked it, the first page needs some editing but it’s just spell check for example it’s tone instead of turn, things like that. I feel like I understand the plot better now after reading the script. Is a romance going to develop between him and Leanne? I like her – but I’m worried that she might turn out to be the girl he liked before, I don’t know why. Does he remember how he got amnesia? Anyway, it doesn’t say how he remembers Leanne. Where’s the story based here or in the states? I think you’ve got a pretty solid first two scenes. – Camila, 17

I like Camila’s feedback because my script (what I have so far) has made her ponder as you can see above, it is mostly positive, the only negative part is my spelling which I will correct. Also, it has given me quite a bit to think about on how this script is going to continue.

Finished Script 1st Draft

This is the cover page to my script, it includes: The name of the pilot, which I have called “Pilot”, who it is written by, which is myself ‘Stephanie Corr-Amajor’, what is the script is based on, which is my final major project idea, my copyright name and how actors or anyone that needs my can get in contact with me.

This was the final draft however, due to the feedback given below it became a draft, which I will update.

FeedBack:

The script shown above is only a bit of what was marked by my tutor Mark Caffoor, he had informed me on my spelling errors and my terminology errors as well. Overall, he said it is an amazing script and he is impressed. This is good because it is positive feedback that will help me perfect my script making it even greater.

Finished Script 2nd and Final Draft

This is the finished and final draft of my script, which means it is the script I will be using for my film and the script that the actors will be reading off. I am proud of the feedback given as well as the outcome of my script, which is a great feeling to have.

FeedBack

This voice recording is from a 17 year old Female named Carla. The feedback given is positive, which is good. In addition, Carla had a lot of questions that are keeping her engaged and evoke that the hunger for more. Hopefully, the individuals watching my TV Pilot will feel the same way.

The voice recording presented above is from my co-tutor James, giving his opinion on my script. The feedback given was all good except for the age query. Other than that he thought the script was great, which is very comforting because I want my TV Pilot to be perfect.

Updated Version of Flashback